Totally Normal

I pressed my nose up against the white board as instructed. The tech gently pushed my forehead forward. "That's right, forehead too." I sighed. "I'm just a little out of it." I did my best to make small talk with the petite woman as she adjusted my head and her equipment. I heard her rush to the separate room and closed my eyes. The bight light pierced my eyelids and I exhaled out of the one nostril that worked.

She turned me this way and that and repeated the x-ray process three times before sending me on my way.

I loaded myself into my car and said, "This is totally normal." I paused. "X-rays for a sinus infection?"

"Chronic." the voice inside said. "Four months now."

I went on about my day, still in the fog I'd been in for four months - please don't be one of those county mouth breathers. I'd sacrifice the air intake to escape that label.

Yes, it's been four months of runny nose, stuffed nose, difficult breathing, and constant pain. I kept it hush, because really - no one wants to hear about it.

But now, a quick eight hours after the x-rays, I whisper in to Jake Ryan's ear, "You'll be taken care of, I promise. You'll go live with Shotsie and she'll run you and life will be good. Just make sure our ashes are mixed together when you join me on the other side."

It's amazing how our minds can wander to the dark places so quickly. I don't want it to go there, but today it's inevitable. As I secretly celebrate a new life being carried by a dear friend, I worry about the fragility of my own. I can't dwell on it tonight. It's too late and it's been too good of an evening.

So instead, I'll put on some music and drift to sleep. While I loathe musicals in general, tonight's selection is from "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" - Tragedy Tomorrow, Comedy Tonight! :)

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