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Friday, October 30, 2009

Holy Crap!

I am so excited about New York City - I can't STAND myself right now. It's been hell week(s) at work - we've had Focus and Connect and I'm pooped. But this time next week, I'll be packed and ready to go to NYC. I've been to almost every continent and major city - but not NYC. Trust me, by the time I get back you'll be sick of me/it too.

I have to run in Central Park - that is a must. But I want to go to the top of the Statue of Liberty - but can't find the tickets... and of course I already put in my request for tickets to the David Letterman show. I would pee my pants! I mean seriously pee my pants if I got in. Oh well.

So today I looked up running routes and found their half marathon route and I think I will do that on Sunday. :)

My friend Matt and his mom, Kim, have a brother/son who lives up there, they're putting us in touch so he can tote me around on Saturday. After my run on Sunday I'll go have a mini-Arts Council reunion. The conference is Monday and Tuesday. But I'm going to take full advantage of those after hours and see, walk, and do as much as I can. I can not wait!

After NYC, little Chunk-a-Munk comes for a week to visit (and he's bringing his parents). Then I'm off to see him for Christmas. His first Christmas. Like he'll remember? Nope. But I will! :)

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Totally Rambling

I haven't done too good with my four-day promise of 30 Rock highlights. Surprised? I'm not. I can't commit to much these days, I'm just too riled up lately.

12 Year Milestone: I have lived in Alabama longer than I have lived anywhere, even my dear Seattle. The milestone passed with absolutely no celebration. Someone simply asked how long I've been here. I paused, "It'll be 12 years in October." I stopped myself, because holy shit, it was October. Not only was it October, but it was the exact day when 12 years ago I rolled into town in a yellow Ford Festiva. While Seattle is still "where I'm from," Huntsville is now home. During this time, you'd think a few things would happen. They haven't. You'd think other things wouldn't have. They have.
First of all, I do have the slightest twang to my voice. People here don't hear it. People in Seattle make fun. (Bitches so hyped up on coffee, what do they know?!?) I do say y'all and all y'all. I'm still not sure if they apostrophe is in the right place. I don't say "use ta could", "fixin' to", or "Roll Tide." I do say "big ole" and "No Thank You, but that's sweet of you to offer." I haven't - and won't - picked an SEC team to cheer for. I really like orange, but fear birds and flying objects in general. Too much orange makes me hungry for oranges. I listen to country music - but that started in high school with Garth Brooks. I live in a quaint neighborhood built when the Germans came to town to fly man to the moon. I pass space ships every day, never forgetting they're our bread and butter. I've got a column in a paper and a local following. Yes, life is good. Here in Alabama.

Weighty Issue: Tonight I had a dinner of bad spinach and icky tomatoes. I spit it out (while on the phone organizing another event!). Instead I settled for my chicken spicy hot dogs from Costco. I love Costco and cylindrical meat. Can't get enough. In my little house in the aforementioned quaint neighborhood, I have two bedrooms, a study, a few bathrooms, and all the other things basic: kitchen, dining room, etc. I will soon need to buy more pillows and a bigger coffee pot. And drop 15 pounds in 6 weeks. This is my goal. Because all six of my family members are coming to stay with me in my 1,400 square foot house. The two dogs are going to be in for the ever loving shock of their lives. It'll be a riot. And vodka worthy. VERY MUCH VODKA.

Speaking of Dogs: Do you ever have dreams where you've lost someone and you start yelling for them in the dream? ME TOO! The other night, Jake Ryan, Poncho, and I moved to a house with no fenced-in yard. The boys ran off. JR came back, but we found P's collar with blood on it. I started frantically screaming, "PONCHO...PONCHO..." In my dream I couldn't yell loud and long enough, so I woke up and hollered, PONCHO!!!! My eyes were still closed, but I heard the word echo through my room. I've done this with my mom - as in dreaming and looking for her. Only that time, when I woke up yelling, I wasn't alone. :( I was on a business trip sharing a room with a stranger. Classic.

Dreams: I'm hyped up on antibiotics and they are causing some weird dreams. Last night I dreamt that Seattle and Huntsville were closer together, so I could have all the people I love near me. Soon enough, those I love the most will be piled on top of each other here on Fairfax St. AWWW. And I'll be drunk, waiting for them to go - but until then, I can't wait. I absolutely can not wait!

Yes - Life is good in Alabama.

Monday, October 12, 2009

The Backdoor Bragger

Jenna! The self-centered actress with fake teeth (at least I think they're fake - purposefully; I mean come on, she's got the telltale ttthhhh of fake teetttthhhh). Jenna is on and off the show - some episodes she's nowhere to be seen and other times she's fretting over babies getting more attention that her. How I relate.

Here are a few of my favorite Jenna quotes:

If the president is so serious about the war on terror, why doesn't he hunt down and capture Barack Obama before he strikes again?

Liz: You've already made up your mind about this, haven't you?
Jenna: Oh, you're right, Liz! I should go for it!
Liz: You're not even listening, are you? Poop. Monkey butt.
Jenna: No, you're a good friend and thank you.
---
Jenna: Hey, I've gotta miss an hour of rehearsal today 'cause I just found out from my publicist, I've been booked on The View.
Pete: Oh, Jenna, that's great. For the first time in your life, you'll be in a room full of women and you'll be the least crazy one.
Jenna: Ah, I know.

Jenna: I called 911. They wouldn't even connect with their celebrity service.
---
Jenna: I'm on a crash diet to get back to my old weight by Friday.
Liz: Well, what diet is going to do that?
Jenna: Oh, it's the Japanese porn star diet. I only eat paper, but I can eat all the paper I want, so...

Here's youtube link to her clips

And of course - who doesn't want to sing along to Muffin Top?

Tomorrow it's Kenneth; Wednesday is Jack and Can't wait compile my favorite Liz moments - because she is so me (except for the 25 year old thing).

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Countdown to 30 Rock


I love 30 Rock - the writing is so witty and smart. So all this week, to gear up for its return on Thursday, I'll post my favorite quotes.

Tracy Jordan (played by Tracy Morgan) is the funniest one on the show - hands down. He was robbed at the Emmys last month. The character has incredible depth and wit, but at the same time, he's so dumb! He uses a screwdriver to fix everything (including items on Richard Nixon's Wikipedia page).

Here is a collection of my favorite Tracy quotes:

Tracy: [on birthdays] I don't need it. I buy myself all the presents I need. And because of my drinking, I'm often surprised.

Tracy: So, how you doing over there, Theo Huxtable.
Toofer: I'm doing good.
Tracy: Nah-uh. Superman does good; you're doing well. You need to study your grammar, son.
[Tracy leaves the room.]
Frank: [to Toofer] Wow, that was embarrassing for you.
Here are a few more:

Tracy: If you get rich off this stuff, just take care of my family. I don't want my kids to have to go to college.

Tracy: I believe that the moon does not exist. I believe that vampires are the world's greatest golfers but their curse is they never get a chance to prove it. I believe that there are 31 letters in the white alphabet. Wait...what was the question?

Tracy: I'm whipped! Angie got me up at 7:30 today. Did you know that in the morning, they have food, TV, almost everything. It's pretty good.

Tracy: I watched Boston Legal 9 times before I realized it wasn't a new Star Trek.

Tracy: Liz Lemon, I may hug people too hard and get lost at malls, but I'm not an idiot.

Tracy: What is this, Horseville? Because I'm surrounded by naysayers.

Tracy: If you have enough money you can do whatever you want! Now I can appear on Martha Stewart Live. Oh, and it's going to be raunchy!


I hope you live every week like it's shark week - and never over work your thought-cicles!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Day 1

Yesterday I had to leave work at 12:30 p.m. because I was getting a migraine and feeling very woozie. I didn't want to go because we had that presentation to City Council...but when the room started to spin and my head felt like it was crashing in on itself I left.

I got home and laid down on the couch for a bit and Jake was so sweet, laying there on the floor next to me - I knew right away he was having sympathy pains, we're so close like that. He's been so good to me these last three years - through heart break and growth, just loving me unconditionally. After a bit, I got up to go get his ball - it was in the back yard. The moment I stepped outside I saw it. I saw the real cause of his troubles: an empty container of granola. The whole thing was full when I had left for work in the morning. Granola on the couch. He and Poncho have free run of the house when I'm gone - and I should have known better. My mind has been elsewhere lately.

I looked at the clear container. Looked at Jake. "Did you do that?" He hung his head. "Sweet boy, you're gonna be sorry!" He meandered over to me. I felt his mid section - thick and solid, filled with granola. "Oh you're gonna be sorry." So much for me being sentimental. But it's the thought that counts.

So the reason I came home was two fold - my dr wants me to stop being stressed out and take more time off work. AND I started on antibiotics yesterday morning. AND I forgot to eat. I hate when I do that. Apparently the stress has caused my sweet adrenal system to go into "fatigue" mode - which is why I've been sleeping a lot. AND I mean a lot. That and the pills. So I have promised myself that this weekend I am not doing anything. Nothing. Besides running 10 miles.

As I was listening to the Today Show yesterday, Williard was wishing a Mr. Gregg in the southeast area a happy 100th B'day. He went on to say that Mr. Gregg had started a community center and worked with volunteers to improve the community and people's lives. GREGG FAMILY ROCKS. I am sure I'm not related to this guy - but absolutely loved his story. Sounds so familiar! GO GREGGS!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Totally Normal

I pressed my nose up against the white board as instructed. The tech gently pushed my forehead forward. "That's right, forehead too." I sighed. "I'm just a little out of it." I did my best to make small talk with the petite woman as she adjusted my head and her equipment. I heard her rush to the separate room and closed my eyes. The bight light pierced my eyelids and I exhaled out of the one nostril that worked.

She turned me this way and that and repeated the x-ray process three times before sending me on my way.

I loaded myself into my car and said, "This is totally normal." I paused. "X-rays for a sinus infection?"

"Chronic." the voice inside said. "Four months now."

I went on about my day, still in the fog I'd been in for four months - please don't be one of those county mouth breathers. I'd sacrifice the air intake to escape that label.

Yes, it's been four months of runny nose, stuffed nose, difficult breathing, and constant pain. I kept it hush, because really - no one wants to hear about it.

But now, a quick eight hours after the x-rays, I whisper in to Jake Ryan's ear, "You'll be taken care of, I promise. You'll go live with Shotsie and she'll run you and life will be good. Just make sure our ashes are mixed together when you join me on the other side."

It's amazing how our minds can wander to the dark places so quickly. I don't want it to go there, but today it's inevitable. As I secretly celebrate a new life being carried by a dear friend, I worry about the fragility of my own. I can't dwell on it tonight. It's too late and it's been too good of an evening.

So instead, I'll put on some music and drift to sleep. While I loathe musicals in general, tonight's selection is from "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" - Tragedy Tomorrow, Comedy Tonight! :)