Showing posts from January, 2010

Dear Allison

Dear Allison,

Your ass is wearing on me. It has carved a spot in my left side. No longer are my cushions plump and inviting. I'm lopsided! Lopsided, Damn IT! I wish you would get off me for a few days. I tired of you sitting here. It's been days now - days. I understand something is wrong with you. I've heard you on the phone today - talking with people, in a raspy voice, which by the way is quite becoming. But no more. Today's the last day. GET OFF ME.

Signed, The Couch

Dear Mah,
Do you think we can have one of the babies on TV? The ones that make you cry because they have no mommies since the earth shook? I think we'd be a good family for a little baby. I could learn French. Jake Ryan will share his cow. We'd have to work on your cooking. But make some calls.
Thanks, Poncho

Dear Patient,
I'm glad you've taken three of me. But let's take a shower. That whole image your projecting right now isn't so pretty. I think there's more…

My Life with Dogs

I am on day five of home-boundedness. I am incredibly bored - but overly thankful for the company of my dogs.

This is a little bit of information on me and my life with my dogs, Jake Ryan (wacky ear) and Poncho Charles (little bit).

Fear No Evil, Just Mario Brothers
I am very lucky. My dogs are easy going, adaptable, loving, and chill. They either learned this from me or were created this way. They fear no one - happily greeting everyone who comes to the door - to the point where it's embarrassing!

The other night I'm playing Super Mario Bros and there is a barking bomb on a chain. This sends Poncho into a tizzy. His 12-pound body pops up from a dead sleep and he surveys the room. Finding nothing, he runs outside and howls and barks. This causes Jake Ryan to look at me and say, "Mom, he's an idiot." I always ask Jake Ryan to go get Poncho, but he's far too busy being stubborn to cooperate. I suck so bad at SMB that it takes forever to get past this &q…


It's closing in on early afternoon and I'm home from lunch and tucked into bed for the time being. I have a sore throat and general aches. It's in the 60s outside and I feel like I should take the dogs on a walk. This is their kind of weather. Instead I'm just gonna sit here in my own misery and feel guilty as I look at them snuggled up at the end of my bed.

Had to believe it's been five weeks since I wrote on here. Life has been just that busy and I've just been that bored.

Christmas was great - as was New Years. Spent it with the ones I love without much fanfare.

So let's talk.

Texting and Driving
The state just MAY outlaw texting and driving. I think that's great. Unless you're at a red light. I do not have the attention span to sit still at a red light. I can do email, google, etc. while waiting for the light to change. Some people see ADD as a challenge, I see it as a wonderful way to multitask.
I do think we need to outlaw drivers whose e…