Showing posts from March, 2012

Today, I cried. Err. Today, I sobbed, heaving sobs.

Eleven months ago, I made the decision to move from my family, my home, my friends, my life, and everything that was safe and dear and close.  Today I want it all back.  Today, for the first time in many months, I want to go home.  I miss my friends with an aching I can't describe.  I miss their laughter, their kids.  I miss how I never had to try.  I miss their homes, as they were always open to me.  I miss my sweet neighbor Mr. Vickers and how he always took care of me.  I miss my garage and my kitchen and my bedroom with my mural that I painted.  I miss the hardwood floors and the old tube television.  I miss my music, my dining room, my yard.  I miss my aunt's Sunday night dinners.  I am missing my Nanny's final days.

I miss everything with a pain I can't swallow.  I missed all of this at the beginning.  But I adapted.  I adjusted.  I lifted myself out of that pain and pushed forward.  Now I can't see through the tears.

I want little Sam to curl up next to me a…