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Monday, November 7, 2016

The Legendary Air Drop

Picture it: Monday, mid-afternoon. Carefree worker on her way from one office to another. She takes the train. She passes the time playing Candy Crush Soda Saga; and doesn't apologize for it. As she alternates between staring out the window and playing, the Seattle scenery passes quickly. 

While in the midst of her game, something pops up on her phone. A picture. A woman staring out the window. The words:  I always feel better after I poop. Our heroine looks at the text above the picture:  "Mickey wants to share this with you through Air Drop" (or something like that).

She lowers the phone and looks around. The girls ahead of her had been giggling, so our beautiful heroine leans in and asks, "Are one of you Mikey?"

They're not.

Snickering is heard from behind.

Our beautiful, intelligent heroine says, "Are you Mikey?"

"Mickey," the slight Hispanic man replies, "it's Mickey."

"Did you send this?", our stunningly kind, humble heroine asks to Mickey.

He nodded.

"Well, that's not really appropriate; I'm going to delete this."

She then turns off all her Wi-Fi capabilities and wonders, "Is this how the kids are hooking up these days? Is this how they're meeting and falling in love?"

She imagined the scenario of Mickey and the girl it worked with telling her family how they met:  There I was, just sitting on the train.  No, I said SITTING.  And this picture pops up on my phone and it was about pooping and since I love pooping, I turned to him and our eyes met and we fell in love right there.  Meant. TO! BE!!! I WAS SITTING ON THE TRAIN. SITTING.

Our heroine (I confess, it's me), is not the kind of girl who can be wooed this way. She'll never be dropping her panties for a stranger who air drops her an awkward meme. She will call you out. Because as much as she feels it's not appropriate to talk about shit, she is not going to put up with your shit.

Footnote:  Apparently, this is a thing!  Read more here

Want to keep your self safe:  here is how

Be safe out there.

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