I rarely make resolutions, but this year things are different.
So here we go.
1. Use the phrase coup de gras (grace) more often
2. Eat more salsa, but less cheese; understand this is going to mean no more nachos
3. Run/trot a 5k every month
4. Do my signature “jack in the box” more often; you are welcome work pals, you are welcome
5. Find out how to become a cinematographer
6. Update resume to reflect cinematography skills
7. More Brian Williams
8. Go on a Bigfoot Hunt (that doesn’t involve the couch)
9. More dog pics
10. Less dick pics
11. Take down the Christmas tree
12. Summer trip to Chicago
15. Change the oil in the car in a timely manner
16. Make a list of things to do tomorrow:
c. Get an oil change
d. Find a biography on Brian Williams
17. Loudly declare my angst of fruit in places it should NOT EVER be: cake, salsa, salad
18. Put away the schnauzer nativity
19. Text less (easy since I rarely do this)
20. Call more (note: convince people it’s okay to talk into that thing they’re staring at)
21. Ignore the trolls
22. More tennis
23. More fireball
24. Expand my vocabulary
25. Less beer
26. More hometown tourist events
27. Finish my coaching class
28. Stop rolling my eyes at insurance commercials. How are they all the worst?
29. Finish my website for allisongreggconsulting.com. I think that’s it
30. Find out why my consulting website address is
31. More dogs sleeping pictures
32. Teach my nephews what “I’ll bail you out of jail” really means
33. Write more
34. Move homes less
35. Move my legs more
36. Ignore celebrities. Even the dead/dying ones
37. Find out how to get a job with Joe Biden 2020
38. Wonder if I should change my password now that we have a new president
39. Give the new President the respect he deserves (which is none; he deserves none) while continuing to stock pile canned goods, booze, dog food, water, and cigarettes. My ass is going to be ready for the apocalypse.
40. Pack my lunch and workout gear for the next day at night
41. Put away the laundry
42. Quit rolling my eyes at celebrities in insurance commercials. The worst, squared.
43. Never again make a list of resolutions. Just be happy with what it is (but keep stock piling).