I deserve it (and so do you)



            My dear friend, who we’ll call Mollie, is a take-no-prisoners kind of gal.  Her senses of self and humor are enough to drop an ox.  Many moons ago she was discussing something I perceived as lavish – a regular message schedule or other type of beauty treatment.  My facial expression must have conveyed my thoughts.  Her response was simple, “I deserve it.”  My love for her grew immediately.  “Deserve it?” I thought, with a mixture of jealousy and happiness. 

            Truth be told, she’d worked very hard to get to a place where she could treat herself.  She completely deserved it.  Fast forward many moons to a few months ago.  With the passage of 25 pounds off my body, I treated myself to a 90-minute massage.  While checking in at the spa, the clerk’s comments revealed a surprising tone when she saw the amount of time.  “I deserve it,” I quickly offered.  She chuckled, “I love it.”  Her response was genuine.  I mumbled to myself, “That’s right, I do.”  I pushed myself very hard to drop the weight, I deserved a reward. 

            As the masseuse pushed and pulled at my tired muscles, a line from Kid Rock danced into my mind:  You get what you put in/And people get what they deserve.  Before we go any farther, it’s time for me to make a confession.  Kid Rock is a dirty, greasy man. With every fiber in my being I want to appall him and his drinkin’, druggin’, womanizin’ ways. We should never be friends. We will never be friends. The Women’s Rights activist thinks he is nasty. The writer side loves him with a nastiness that can only be treated with penicillin and vodka. But I can’t quit. I can’t quit the music. Kid is a lyrical genius. I mean this. Embedded in his many songs are lots of one-liners that appeal to my wild ways. I’ve often told people, “In the words of Kid Rock, ‘You’ve never met a Mo$%&F$*%($% quite like me.’”


           The line about getting what we deserve comes from “Only God Knows Why”.  It’s a meandering song epitomizing the struggles with self-understanding and acceptance.  We’ve all been lost.  We all probably haven’t engaged in the same remedies as the song suggests.  Still the question came back to me, “Do you get what you put in and what you deserve?”  Even though the latter has a negative connotation?  Take away the major things we can’t control – natural disasters, non-triggered health issues – and look at your life.  Is it what you deserve?  If the answer is no, what are you going to do to make it better?  Do you see how what you put in leads to what you deserve?  Is what you put in equal to what you deserve?  It usually is, even if you don’t see it. 

            We usually don’t think we deserve great things.  We typically scoff at frivolous indulgences.  We don’t deserve regular massages or the good life.  If we think we do, we certainly don’t say it.  When those words tripped out of my mouth at the spa, I was both proud and embarrassed.  Who was I to deserve anything?  Who am I not?  Who are you not?  You deserve the best.  But you have to work for it.  Are you willing to do so?  I willingly get out of bed at 5 a.m. each day, drive seven miles, sweat for an hour, come home and pack my meals for the day.  But guess what, 32 pounds are now gone.  It isn’t easy.  It will never be easy.  That’s okay.  I’m totally worth it.  I’ve applied this to many facets of my life:  keeping the house tidier, taking better care of my clothes and shoes, and spending as much time as possible with family.

            You have to absolutely commit to putting in the effort to get the life you deserve.  No more excuses for messy houses with undone laundry.  Turn off the television.  Put down the iPad.  Log off Facebook.  Spend 15 minutes making your life better.  I promise you, you won’t regret it.  More than that, I promise you you’ll get what you deserve.

               

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