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Monday, January 2, 2017

Hello 43, Let's Roll

Being born 72 hours in the New Year means that when the world celebrates the New Year, so do I.  Hurrah to having the worst birthday ever. 

I rarely make resolutions, but this year things are different. 

So here we go.

1.       Use the phrase coup de gras (grace) more often

2.       Eat more salsa, but less cheese; understand this is going to mean no more nachos

3.       Run/trot a 5k every month

4.       Do my signature “jack in the box” more often; you are welcome work pals, you are welcome

5.       Find out how to become a cinematographer

6.       Update resume to reflect cinematography skills

7.       More Brian Williams

8.       Go on a Bigfoot Hunt (that doesn’t involve the couch)

9.       More dog pics

10.   Less dick pics

11.   Take down the Christmas tree

12.   Summer trip to Chicago

13.   Dust

14.   Vacuum

15.   Change the oil in the car in a timely manner

16.   Make a list of things to do tomorrow:

a.       Dust

b.       Vacuum

c.       Get an oil change

d.       Find a biography on Brian Williams

17.   Loudly declare my angst of fruit in places it should NOT EVER be:  cake, salsa, salad

18.   Put away the schnauzer nativity

19.   Text less (easy since I rarely do this)

20.   Call more (note:  convince people it’s okay to talk into that thing they’re staring at)

21.   Ignore the trolls

22.   More tennis

23.   More fireball

24.   Expand my vocabulary

25.   Less beer

26.   More hometown tourist events

27.   Finish my coaching class

28.   Stop rolling my eyes at insurance commercials.  How are they all the worst? 

29.   Finish my website for allisongreggconsulting.com.  I think that’s it

30.   Find out why my consulting website address is

31.   More dogs sleeping pictures

32.   Teach my nephews what “I’ll bail you out of jail” really means

33.   Write more

34.   Move homes less

35.   Move my legs more

36.   Ignore celebrities.  Even the dead/dying ones

37.   Find out how to get a job with Joe Biden 2020

38.   Wonder if I should change my password now that we have a new president

39.   Give the new President the respect he deserves (which is none; he deserves none) while continuing to stock pile canned goods, booze, dog food, water, and cigarettes.  My ass is going to be ready for the apocalypse.

40.   Pack my lunch and workout gear for the next day at night

41.   Put away the laundry

42.   Quit rolling my eyes at celebrities in insurance commercials.  The worst, squared.

43.   Never again make a list of resolutions.  Just be happy with what it is (but keep stock piling).